C - give and take

A few days ago, D and I went downtown to pick up a package his mother had very generously sent him for his birthday, and as we approached the downtown area, we both were struck by the skyline and bustle of the city we've been living in for nine months now. Obviously we don't get downtown often enough! Our life here has become rather routine: eat, sleep, teach, etc.

I'm hoping to be more active in the next few months before we leave, as there are a few important Dalian sights we haven't seen yet. There's a holiday coming up next week, although I'm not entirely sure what it's commemorating. Something about labor, I think. That's probably the only aspect of communism left in China. Well, that and the authoritarian government, I suppose. We don't have any exciting travel plans for the week, mainly due to the last-minute way in which the university notifies us of the holidays and which days' classes will be rescheduled. It's hard to book plane tickets when you have no idea which days will be holidays and which won't!

D - Feature Debut

Without further adieu, I present my feature debut as China's newest and undoubtedly hottest voiceover artist. Try to restraint your glee at the sexy images of container ships, ore carriers, and hard-hatted shipyard workers.

To fit the constraints of YouTube, the video has been broken into two parts. In total, the video is 11 minutes long.

PART 1



PART 2

D - The New Voice of China

And it's me. After a two week hiatus, IM is back to talk about my latest experience of note here in China. First, however, a little background is required. Dalian is uniquely positioned in China's northeast as a port. As an ice-free port, Japan, Russia, and China fought many battles over the peninsula in the last two centuries. Now that the city is free to do business, the Port of Dalian has evolved to become one of the Top 20 ports in the world. Naturally such a venture is interested in attracting foreign investment, and that's where I came in. The Port company has a public relations video they produce to inform people about the capabilities of the port and to advise of future plans for expansion. The video is reworked about every 2 years or so in Chinese, Japanese, and English. Most recently, the voiceover for the English version was done by an Australian foreign teacher that the FAO of the Port company ran into on the street. This year however, no such chance encounter was forthcoming, so they called up DMU (whom they have a partnership with) to track down an English speaker. For whatever reason, she called me and offered me the opportunity to work with the Port company.

The Port company FAO sent me over a working script for the eleven minute video and I edited it to improve the grammar and vocabulary. Then on Wednesday of last week, he picked me up and brought me to the training center of the company, where they had a small recording room. For the next three and a half hours, one paragraph at a time, they would play the video and I would read. Sometimes I would nail the paragraph in a single take, but more often it required two or three readings. The script is filled with long words that are necessary to describe seaport operation. Combined with the fact that the Chinese version of the script can be read about 1.5 times faster, the unwieldy vocabulary made it difficult to say all the words clearly and yet within the time constraints of the pictures on the screen. Although Chinese can seem like caveman speak to a foreigner if literally translated, its pictographic nature gives it remarkable expressive power in a short number of sounds. We had to edit the English version on the fly several times to make the words fit within the confines of the video.

From a humor standpoint, there were a few moments of interest. When we first started, I apparently wasn't giving the rather dry material enough emotional impact. In the event of an insignificantly dramatic performance, the head of public relations for the Port (who joined us in the recording studio) would say something to the FAO and the recording guy, and the FAO would then translate for me. "More emotion! Stronger! Faster! Slower! More passionate!" I did my best to keep a straight face given the unenviable task of making "The Port of Dalian was founded in 1899..." into an Oscar-worthy performance.

Here's a few snippets of the video script:

"The Port of Dalian is planning to build a new crude oil terminal with draft of -27 meters and capable of accommodating 500,000 dwt ULCC tankers. The capacity of crude oil storage will increase to 9 million cubic meters and the refined oil storage will increase to 1 million cubic meters. By the year of 2010, Dalian Port Xingang District will become an international trans-shipment hub and logistics and distribution center for oil products and liquefied chemicals with an annual volume of 80 million tons."

"In August 2006, the State Council approved the establishment of the Dalian Dayaowan Bonded Harbor Area. This is the most preferential policy for port development. Taking this as an opportunity, the Port of Dalian will speed up port construction, develop the Bonded Harbor Area into the logistics hub of Northeast China and contribute to the revitalization of the old Northeast Industrial Base. In 2006, the throughput of Port of Dalian made a record of 200 million tons and became one of the Top 20 ports in the world."

But the absolute best part of the video is the end, when the documentary is brought to a stirring conclusion....

"Holding the Seas and Harboring the World, the Port of Dalian, now over a century old, is still full of dreams and ambitions."

The Port company FAO informs me he will provide a copy of the video with my performance for my records, at which point I will certainly YouTube it for the world. All in all, it was a good job for me to take. I was paid 2000 RMB for my trouble, and I have to say I liked it more than teaching Oral English. A few more jobs like that and maybe we could actually go to South Korea for the May holiday after all.

D - The English Corner Mafia

Almost every Chinese university is blessed with a variety of clubs known as "English Corner". English Corner consists of university students and ambitious locals (who may not be attending the school) that want to practice their English. The idea is that people can come and speak in an informal environment. All you do at an English Corner is just chat. Many universities in China consider this to be a formal part of a foreign teacher's job. Thus, English Corner responsibilities are written into the work contract and the teacher is obligated to go to English Corner every week. For C and I however, there is no such stipulation. All and any English Corner visits are from the goodness of our hearts as we take pity on the under-Englished masses of China.

Or at least that's how it seemed until this week. Then we met the English Corner Mafia. Last semester, C and I had avoided English Corner. You see, teaching students here can be mentally exhausting. You spend 90 minutes trying to rip English from the mouths of students who are too shy or too english-inept. Consider an analogy for Oral English: I get the mental picture of a dentist, putting his feet on a patient's chest, while trying to yank out a particularly stubborn molar that needs extraction. There are of course, successes when we get students talking and have some brief satisfaction, but more often we keep our pliers handy. Silence is truly golden.

Despite such frustrations, we did go to an English Corner last Fall. Essentially students (usually at least 10-15 per teacher, sometimes more) gather around the foreign English teachers in a massive huddle and they ask the same questions over and over again. Where are you from? What do you think of China? Why did you choose Dalian? How do you think of Taiwan? Do you love NBA? Who is your favorite NBA player? Do you like Yao Ming? And on and on it goes. Of course we try to ask students questions as well, but that often creates awkward silences for the students that lack English ability and they are inevitably interrupted by some English star who wants to move on to a discussion of Western movies.

For the first 30 minutes or so, I greatly enjoyed English Corner. It was a good time to get to know the students and learn about their backgrounds. After awhile I found it to be a drag. C had a better time although she shares my frustrations. She has a strong sense of obligation, so she returned to English Corner the next several weeks until the end of the year. Now in the second semester, we received an email from the English Corner coordinator inviting us back. C went the first week, and she was swarmed because there were only two foreign teachers there. She was the only white teacher though, the other was our friend M who is a Chinese-American that teaches here. Needless to say that a 20-something girl with blonde hair and blue eyes was more of a sensation than a 60-something Chinese man.

Well, this week on Wednesday night we were invited out to dinner by our friends from Canada, L and T. So C decided to give English Corner a raincheck. She even sent text messages to students telling her she couldn't make it. We went out and had a nice dinner at our favorite local Chinese place ("The One with the Blue Steps"). We returned and within about 20 minutes there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there were two Chinese students who wanted to come in. One of them was A, who C had gotten to know last year at English Corner. They came in and described the pitiable conditions of that night's Corner. Only 3 foreign teachers came and they *GASP* only stayed for about an hour, and then they left. C usually gets roped in to staying for 2 or 3 hours! The students wanted to make sure that C had not permanently forsaken the Corner. They were incredibly emphatic that she come next week and practically bullied her into it. I was personally appalled. C said that they are "a little needy". I'll say! "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME? WILL YOU COME AGAIN? PLEASE COME NEXT WEEK." Believe it or not, it's not our moral duty to go to English Corner. But that wasn't all. About an hour later, a different student called C to again confirm she would come next week. Then this girl tried to keep her on the phone to practice her English.

You know, it's really a shame how things work out. In class, students are very shy and don't take chances to learn English. Then at English Corner, people are almost rabid in their desire to learn and practice. It's ironic and a little sad that the people who most want to learn never seem to be in our classes. But I also think it was inappropriate how the students stalked us to try and ensure C would be at English Corner next week. Of course such pressure is always wrapped politely in China but it felt like extortion to me. I'm sure the next time we need a student's help they will say..."Of course, but someday....I may ask you to do me a favor...."

And the favor will inevitably involve English Corner.

I love Yao Ming

D - Parody of a Chinese Student Interviewing with an American Company

I wrote this faux dialogue to help my students understand what NOT to do if they interview with a Western company. It's intended to be ridiculous. Believe it or not, there are some students that might actually do some of these things...

Interviewer: Good morning, my name is Mark and I’m a manager here at Dell Computers in Dalian.
Student: Good morning, nice to meet you, I’m <> but you can call me <>.
Interviewer: Okay, great, good to meet you too. Let’s get started with the interview. First, I’d like to know what your major is at Dalian Maritime University, and why you chose that major.
Student: My major is <>, and I picked it because I didn’t really know what else to choose.
Interviewer: Uh, okay, I see. Well, why are you interested in working for Dell Computers?
Student: Dell is a very famous American company, so I think I want work here.
Interviewer: Yes, Dell is very well known in the world, but I want to understand your interest in our company. We like to hire people who have a strong passion for computers and helping our customers. How do you feel about the computer industry?
Student: I like computers. On the weekend, I usually play World of Warcraft all day long. How do you think about Warcraft?
Interviewer: I don’t really want to talk about hobbies right now, I want to understand why you are a good fit for Dell. Tell me about your favorite class that you’ve taken at the university.
Student: My favorite class is Oral English with my foreign teacher, D.
Interviewer: Interesting - Your spoken English is very good.
Student: Oh, no it’s not. My English is very poor.
Interviewer: No, really, I am pretty impressed with your English.
Student: Sorry, my English is really terrible. But I like my English class because my teacher never gives me any homework, and I think foreigners are very funny. They do many strange things. Especially Americans like D.
Interviewer: Okay, let’s discuss something else. Why should Dell hire you? What qualities do you bring to the table?
Student: Which table?
Interviewer: Uh, it’s just an expression in English. What I mean is, tell me about your strengths, how you can help Dell.
Student: I will work very hard. I will do whatever you tell me.
Interviewer: We do like team players at Dell, but we also want people who can think for themselves. What goals do you have for this job, if you are hired?
Student: I want to make money. Then I will marry a beautiful Chinese girl and I will have a son. Do you like Chinese girl?
Interviewer: Sorry, that’s not really an appropriate question. I think I have learned everything about you that I need to know. Do you have anything else you want to say?
Student: Do you think China and Taiwan are one?
Interviewer: I beg your pardon?
Student: I want to know your opinion on Taiwan.
Interviewer: I don’t think that’s relevant to this position. But thank you very much for your time. We will be in touch.

C - Net Nanny says...

We're blocked in China again! We can post entries in China but we can't read them... Arrgh.

D - Keeping It Real

We have now completed two weeks of our 18 week semester here in DMU's spring semester. Both C and I had a tough time moving from full time vacation for two months to the partial vacation that we have while teaching. The two of us have different causes for our frustrations. C, never one to impose her will, did not request anything specific from the English department in terms of classes. Her reward was a full complement of maritime engineering students, who are either starry-eyed at her blonde hair, or trying to demonstrate that Chinese kids have ADD as well. I on the other hand, have quiet, dutiful students and a nice mix of guys and gals, because I specifically requested NO martime students. The trouble for me is the common tendency of students to remain stone faced and stubbornly unwilling to talk unless called upon by their esteemed teacher. There are times that one wants to grab them by the collar and yell "Good God man, say something! anything that's not completely predictable and boring!" Thus, although I occasionally scowl at two boys in one of my classes for their ridiculous chosen English names of "X-Boy" and "Butcher", I must confess that they make class a little more interesting. Finding a lack of conformity in this culture, even in the form of class clown behavior can make class more rewarding. So while C is shouting over the din in her classes, I'm trying to stir the pot. One of my most recent efforts included rapping "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" to demonstrate the importance of speaking rhythm. Eminem is not impressed.

Despite our frustrations and the slight adjustment period, things are going better now. We've slipped back into the routine of lesson planning and dealing with the students as they are. Although I am not particularly thrilled about the teaching component of our adventure here, it's excellent for making me better on my feet and significantly less nervous about public speaking. So while my enthusiasm for the work itself may be reduced a bit, I am also much confident. On balance I would say things are better than last term. Knowing what you're doing to an extent makes it a lot easier.

In addition to feeling more comfortable, I am also teaching a Writing class for English majors. They can actually speak and write a good bit in that class and although I'm no English professor, I'm enjoying throwing new things at them. For example, in my first class we read Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-tale Heart", which is a charming story about a psychopath who kills an old man because he has a diseased eye. Horror stories exist in China of course, but Poe gets inside the mind of terrible people like no one else, so it was a little shocking to them. My second class we started using the book, which was written in the US and isn't half bad. Our first chapter is about the compare and contrast essay. To begin our practice, I had them describe pictures of a Dachshund and a Bassett Hound together with me in class. Next, we wrote basic sentences describing each dog breed, and finally we added transitional expresions such as "while", "although", "on the other hand", and so on. It sounds silly to use dogs for a compare and contrast essay, but I think it went rather well. They were probably just relieved that I didn't break out a Stephen King short story next. I found it amusing when a majority of students in the class described Doxies and Bassetts as "ridiculous looking". I also enjoyed when one girl said Bassett Hounds look "miserable". But of course they are. That's why we love them.