D - Parody of a Chinese Student Interviewing with an American Company

I wrote this faux dialogue to help my students understand what NOT to do if they interview with a Western company. It's intended to be ridiculous. Believe it or not, there are some students that might actually do some of these things...

Interviewer: Good morning, my name is Mark and I’m a manager here at Dell Computers in Dalian.
Student: Good morning, nice to meet you, I’m <> but you can call me <>.
Interviewer: Okay, great, good to meet you too. Let’s get started with the interview. First, I’d like to know what your major is at Dalian Maritime University, and why you chose that major.
Student: My major is <>, and I picked it because I didn’t really know what else to choose.
Interviewer: Uh, okay, I see. Well, why are you interested in working for Dell Computers?
Student: Dell is a very famous American company, so I think I want work here.
Interviewer: Yes, Dell is very well known in the world, but I want to understand your interest in our company. We like to hire people who have a strong passion for computers and helping our customers. How do you feel about the computer industry?
Student: I like computers. On the weekend, I usually play World of Warcraft all day long. How do you think about Warcraft?
Interviewer: I don’t really want to talk about hobbies right now, I want to understand why you are a good fit for Dell. Tell me about your favorite class that you’ve taken at the university.
Student: My favorite class is Oral English with my foreign teacher, D.
Interviewer: Interesting - Your spoken English is very good.
Student: Oh, no it’s not. My English is very poor.
Interviewer: No, really, I am pretty impressed with your English.
Student: Sorry, my English is really terrible. But I like my English class because my teacher never gives me any homework, and I think foreigners are very funny. They do many strange things. Especially Americans like D.
Interviewer: Okay, let’s discuss something else. Why should Dell hire you? What qualities do you bring to the table?
Student: Which table?
Interviewer: Uh, it’s just an expression in English. What I mean is, tell me about your strengths, how you can help Dell.
Student: I will work very hard. I will do whatever you tell me.
Interviewer: We do like team players at Dell, but we also want people who can think for themselves. What goals do you have for this job, if you are hired?
Student: I want to make money. Then I will marry a beautiful Chinese girl and I will have a son. Do you like Chinese girl?
Interviewer: Sorry, that’s not really an appropriate question. I think I have learned everything about you that I need to know. Do you have anything else you want to say?
Student: Do you think China and Taiwan are one?
Interviewer: I beg your pardon?
Student: I want to know your opinion on Taiwan.
Interviewer: I don’t think that’s relevant to this position. But thank you very much for your time. We will be in touch.