C - on a heavier note

You can easily judge the character of a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him. -- Unknown

For the past several days, I have been unable to practice Chinese, develop lesson plans, reply to emails, or work on my law school applications. Any higher-level thought processes I might be capable of have been completely overwhelmed by my aching heart and screaming conscience.

In my ninth grade “Global Studies” class, I learned about the sex-selective abortion, female infanticide, and abandonment of baby girls that takes place at astonishing levels in China. The stories of these practices made an impression on me like nothing else ever had. Even though it would be years before I would hear of feminism, I instinctively felt that there was something very wrong with valuing girls less than boys, and certainly it was downright evil to murder baby girls simply because they are girls.

That day’s lessons have stayed with me. In fact, what I learned in that class has in large part motivated my current year-long relocation to China. What I was completely unaware of until recently, however, was that the Chinese customs that privilege males over females are actually used as justification for the unhealthy attitudes toward girls. The customs aren’t questioned, and since the values are based on the customs, how could the values be wrong? I’ve had this argument made to me half a dozen times, and in none of the instances did the other person ever think to consider that perhaps the customs are inappropriate as well. “Thinking outside the box” is not a very Chinese thing to do, apparently.

Speaking about these cultural phenomena on a sociological level, though, isn’t what’s been keeping me up at night. What makes my heart ache is to hear a beautiful, intelligent girl tell me that it doesn’t bother her that her grandparents love her male cousin more, just because he’s male, or to see my immature and lazy (male) students act so smugly superior day in and day out. The young women at this university, even those who don’t have boyfriends and are otherwise unconcerned with marriage and parenthood, desperately want to have a son in the future. They don’t see anything wrong with preferring males; in fact, given their culture, it would be illogical not to prefer males.

Some cultural differences, such as music, food, fashion, etiquette, etc, are completely relative, and any preference for one culture over another would simply be a matter of individual taste. I would defend these aspects of Chinese culture to the end against any Westerner who thinks that their culture is superior. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the opposite of an arrogant, idiotic American who believes that the whole world should be like the USA. For me to be so upset, then, this must be a matter of a different sort.

I believe that the quote located at the beginning of this entry is true. Even if the Chinese customs that disadvantage females were immutable (although I don’t believe that they are), it’s still not right for females to be valued less. They can’t pass on your family name? Won’t be expected to live with you in your old age? Can’t work the land as hard? Can’t give you your “own” grandchildren? Love them equally anyways. Value them equally anyways. Even better would be to change the customs that have created the preference of sons over daughters, but if that isn’t possible, it’s still no excuse to prefer males. Letting the girls live is just the first step. The preference, in and of itself, is what I am taking issue with.

Think of the precedent that is set by the kind of thinking that values girls less than boys. If we as humans value others only to the extent that they are helpful and useful to us, we exchange our humanity for a cold, calculating kind of utilitarianism that creates a world I don’t think any of us would want to live in. We all have shortcomings and flaws, but instead of bearing with one another in patience and love, we would simply lower our view of the offending party’s level of innate worth according to the extent we were harmed by it.

The choice is either to value other human beings for their innate dignity, worth, and personhood, or diminish humanity altogether: those devalued for obvious reasons, and those doing the de-valuing by being allowed to develop such selfish patterns of thought. I don’t know if this aspect of Chinese culture will ever change. All I know is that I’m deeply troubled, and that I seem to be the only person here who is.