A Grief Observed (Dalian Airport to our Apartment)

Once we gathered our bags, we were met by two lovely students from Dalian Maritime University. I will call them S and E. S was a fourth year student studying marine engineering and E was a fourth year tourism management major. They were really sweet to us and their English was quite good. They corralled a couple of taxis (we needed 2 because the tiny Volkswagens used as taxis couldn’t hold our bags and 4 passengers) and we headed south to DMU. It was getting dark so it was hard to draw too many impressions but Dalian has very diverse architecture and a very interesting landscape. Our drive featured different types of buildings ranging from sparkling new to tiny and dingy. It seems to be a very sprawling city, but unlike American sprawl the “suburbs” of Dalian are filled with multi-story buildings. After about a 25 minute ride, we arrived at our apartment building, which is just south of DMU. It shouldn’t take us more than a couple of minutes to walk to any of our classes.

When we got to the building, S and E directed the taxis to drive up onto the brick walkway in the back. I don’t think this was intended to be a road, but the taxi drivers gladly obliged. Talk about door to door service. We haven’t seen it in the daylight yet but the building has three entrances. We are in door number 2. To be honest, the stairway up to our fourth floor apartment is dimly lit and a bit dingy, but the apartment itself is pretty nice. C and I probably have more personal space here than we did in our apartment in Jersey! S and E showed us how to use all the different appliances and answered a lot of our initial questions. Later, the Foreign Affairs Officer of DMU stopped in to say hello. They were very attentive to our concerns but being exhausted we forgot to ask if we could dial internationally from our phone.

When they left, I went to call my parents who I am sure were very eagerly awaiting our call to make sure that our pickup panned out. Unfortunately the phone card that I purchased (eCallChina), apparently does not work from our phone. It claims you can use a particular toll free number in any city in China. Well that may be but we started to panic because we couldn’t contact our families and let them know we got here safely. There’s an internet café in the downstairs of the building so we did make it down there and pay for a few minutes of time to send emails. But as of this writing we don’t even know if they were received so we hope we have not given our parents heart attacks.

After doing some unpacking, C and I eventually decided to go to bed. You would think that having been up more than 25 hours, it would have not been hard for us to fall asleep. Unfortunately it was quite the contrary. I have to say that of all the nights in my life, this was probably in the top 10 of worst sleeping nights ever. Both of us got hit badly with missing our families. We got to see them more in the last two weeks then probably in the preceding 6 months but that actually made it worse. We were just there with them, enjoying the family life. I miss being with my parents and my brother. They were so good to us before we left and it was so nice to get an extended visit rather than just a weekend blip. And we worry about our families. Generally everyone is in good health but our parents are getting older and we don’t want to lose them. All of these feelings came out last night as we felt powerless and unable to call anyone. We spent a lot of time sobbing and holding each other. Finally we tried to get to sleep but it was a pretty fruitless efforts. I think C got 3 or 4 hours and I probably got 1 hour.

When you’re in a new place and you don’t speak the language, don’t know how to dial a phone, or buy food, or do anything that is so simple back home, you panic. That combined with missing our families made it very hard. But here we are – we eventually made it through the night. And yes we’re exhausted and need sleep (which God willing we can get tonight with our body clocks adjusting). The daylight is bringing new possibilities. Instead of being sick with grief and worry, we’re making a list of things we need and we’re about go out and explore campus. Later, some more student volunteers are coming by to help us shop and get acclimated. Right now honestly it is a struggle, but rather than the torment of last night it’s turning into the growth experience we hope this trip will be. Who knows – perhaps we will never get past our homesickness and end up coming back early, but we are going to give it a go the next few days and see what happens.